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Trizophrenia: Inside the Minds of a Triathlete By Jef Mallett Life is better when you're a triathlete. That is what author and triathlete Jef Mallett believes, and millions of triathletes around the world agree. Trizophrenia: Inside the Minds of the Triathlete, by nationally syndicated illustrator and veteran triathlete Jef Mallett, offers up the first exploration of the triathlon lifestyle. With the same humor and insight readers love in his "Frazz" comic strip, Mallett delves into the intoxicating subculture of the sport that is three sports. Mallett unveils the triathlete's obsessive-compulsive need for the rituals of the sport: eat, swim, eat, work, eat, ride, eat, work, eat, run, eat, go to bed early. Get up at dawn and do it all over again. Packed with illustrations that bring to life the countless conundrums a triathlete embraces every day, Mallett's light-hearted declaration of love for his sport will convince anyone that life is more worth living when youíre a triathlete. Paperback. B&w illustrations throughout. 6" x 10", 216 pp., $21.95, 978-1-934030-44-8 Praise for Jef Mallett and his work "A funny, heartfelt, serious work of evangelism." ó Peter Sagal, host of NPR's Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me! and contributor to Runner's World magazine "Jef Mallett's comics seem to frequently express something I've done or thought of myself while training. Trizophrenia is no different. Jef has a good sense of what others in the sport are thinking. If you're a triathlete, I'm sure you will enjoy the book. It's a quick read and will leave you contemplating what you do so seriously many hours a day while chuckling at the same time." ó Joe Friel, founder of TrainingBible Coaching and author of The Triathlete's Training Bible ìJef Mallett is a gifted, funny fellow. I enjoyed dipping in and out of Trizophrenia.î ó Scott Tinley "Following Frazz is like seeing my favorite racer winning every stage of the Tour de France. Just when I think he can't be any cooler he comes up with yet another funny truth to show me how spectacular the world really is." ó Andy Hampsten "Jef Mallett fearlessly mines truthsósometimes uncomfortable truthsówith humor and wit, and occasionally with a poignancy that can summon tears." ó Gene Weingarten, Below the Beltway columnist for The Washington Post "I love Frazzóthe way he deals with real problems and people, and makes it look so easy. He's a cool guy. Frazz says more in a few words than anyone on the comic strip page. I love him. Once you see Frazz talking about you, you know you've arrived." ó Elmore Leonard, author "Whether you're twelve years old or pushing eighty, Frazz is the smartest comic strip goingósly, satirical, and unabashedly literate." ó Carl Hiaasen, author "Trizophrenia would make a great gift for someone who's cheered at a lot of triathlons, someone thinking about getting into triathlons, someone training for their first triathlon, or someone who's been competing in triathlons for years." ó Steve in a Speedo "Trizophrenia is a wonderfully humorous and informative book. I was instantly pulled into the world of a triathlete and soon realized that they may even be slightly crazier than long-distance runners. By the time I finished reading the book, I was thinking, "Hey, maybe I can actually complete a triathlon." ó Runner Dude "Jef Mallett, the award-winning creator of the syndicated comic strip Frazz, unravels the sport's mystery and madness while raising it to new heights of hilarity." ó Humble Triathlete "Trizophrenia is no snobbish elite-athletes-only affair. Mallettís raucous humor abounds, his illustrations are hilarious, and the footnotes add to the guffaws." ó Grand Rapids Press ìCombining great wit, detailed footnotes and comical cartoons, Trizophrenia is a great read for any cyclist, swimmer, runner, tri geek.î ó BicycleSmile.com "I understand the compulsions that come with triathlon; the training, the cost, the competition, the early mornings, the energy gels that masquerade as food. Jef Mallett makes these easily accessible to the great unwashed. His writing is smooth and clear and carries you along with a sense of fun the surrounds every sentence. Trizophrenia is a fun and informative read for anyone who loves time on a bike, on the road, or in the water." ó Greg Moody, author and critic for CBS 4 Denver ìIn Trizophrenia, Mallet uses humor to make pain interesting and entertaining, as he presents the trials and tribulations of the elite athletes who swim, bike and run, all in the same race.î ó Lansing City Pulse About Jef Mallett Jef Mallett is the author and illustrator of the nationally syndicated comic strip Frazz, which runs in over 160 newspapers in the U.S. and Canada and at comics.com/frazz. Jef has published three collections of Frazz illustrations, Frazz 3.14159Ö, Frazz, Live at Bryson Elementary, and 99 Percent Perspiration. He also illustrated Jamie Smith's book, Roadie: The Misunderstood World of a Bike Racer. Jef writes a regular column for Inside Triathlon and Triathlete magazines and is a contributing artist for VeloNews magazine. Jef has been racing triathlons on and off since the early '80s, alternating between triathlon and bike racing. He finished his second Ironman this fall. For more information on Jef and his work, please visit JefMallett.com. To read Jef's entertaining blog about the world of Frazz and the swim, bike, run culture, please visit JefMallett.net.
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Free US Ground Shipping
Triathlon LAB offers FREE Ground Shipping to the 48 Continental U.S. states on all eligible orders of $50 or more. Bikes, Wheels, Bike Cases, Trainers, and other Oversize Items do not qualify for Free Ground shipping unless otherwise noted. Triathlon LAB will choose the shipping method, most likely it will be either UPS ground or USPS first class/parcel post. Free shipping offers are subject to change without notice. International and non US continental addresses do not qualify for free shipping.
Returns and Exchanges
All of our products have a 30-day money back guarantee, except as specified below. We do not refund shipping charges unless the item was mis-shipped. If you are returning an item, it must be unused in its original packaging and have its original tags. A return of a used item will only be accepted if there is a manufacturing defect. We do cover 1st class USPS postage for exchanges from Triathlon LAB to you (excluding closeout items and international orders). Please allow 7-14 business days to process your exchange/refund. If an exchange is needed sooner, please contact customer service for alternate options. Within the first 30 days, please follow the procedures listed below to ensure a prompt replacement, refund, or credit. In addition, please keep a record of shipment until you have received credit or replacement merchandise. If you are returning an item that was sold with a promotional item, such as a free gift card, then the refund will be the purchase price less the free gift with purchase value.
If an item has a defect which does not appear within the first 30 days, please email Customer Service for a return authorization (RA) number. We do reserve the right to turn down a return if the item appears damaged due to misuse. Some manufacturers require items be sent directly to them for repairs (wheels, wetsuits, etc.), so please contact our Customer Service Department.
The following points apply to all returns/exchanges:
- All items must be returned in new and unused condition with all parts, original tags, and packaging materials within 30 days of purchase. Used items will not be accepted by triathlonlab.com and will be shipped back to you AT YOUR EXPENSE.
- Due to health concerns, triathlonlab.com is unable to accept any returns of nutrition, supplements or consumable food products.
- Clothing items must be unworn and have all hang tags attached.
- For health reasons, swim items cannot be returned or exchanged if worn in the water. This includes but is not limited to swim suits, goggles, fins, paddles.
- DVDs, VHS tapes, CDs, and Software that are unopened and still in their original plastic wrap can be returned for a full refund within 30 days of purchase. Defective or damaged items may be exchanged for the same title only.
- Wheels and powermeters must not be ridden.
- Tires, tubular or clincher, must not be mounted or glued.
- There will be a 10% restocking fee on all returned bike travel cases, trainers, and wheels.
- All Special Order sales are final and will not be accepted for return or exchange unless defective or damaged. A Special Order is an item that triathlonlab.com does not actively stock or sell and specially orders from a manufacturer or distributor for a customer.
- Close-Out sales are final and can only be returned for an exchange or a store credit.
- triathlonlab.com will only accept returns or exchanges with valid return authorization numbers clearly marked on the outside of packages. Items not returned with valid numbers on the packaging will not be accepted by triathlonlab.com and will be shipped back to you at your expense. The RA# is equivalent to your order number found on your invoice included with your order. It is only valid for 30 days from the day of shipping. triathlonlab.com will refund the actual 1st class standard shipping costs to return damaged merchandise or to return merchandise due to a mis-shipment.
- The customer is responsible for all return shipping charges unless otherwise noted. Upon receipt of your return, triathlonlab.com will notify you of the receipt via email and will work to process the return or exchange as quickly as possible. All credits will be placed on the credit card used for the original purchase. Please allow 1 - 2 billing cycles for the credit adjustment to appear on your statement. Bike and Wetsuit returns are subject to the following additional rules:
Framesets and Complete Bikes
Triathlonlab.com accepts returns on framesets and complete bikes within 15 days of the original shipping date under the following conditions:
- Defective or damaged - If the bike or frameset arrives to you defective or damaged, you can return it for replacement, store credit or refund with no penalty. We will refund the actual ground shipping costs of your return in such a situation.
Incorrect Size- If you determine that you chose the incorrect size bike or frameset, you can return it for a properly-sized replacement within 15 days of the original shipping date. The bike or frameset must be in new condition and must not have been ridden outside. You will be responsible for a restocking fee of 10% of the retail price of the bike or frameset, which covers the administration, labor, and depreciation costs associated with a returned bike or frameset. You will also be responsible for all shipping costs and proper insurance.
We will do everything within reason to help you fine tune the fit of your new bike within this 30 day period, including trading out stems, handlebars, and seatposts. Please note that if we send out replacement items, your credit card will be billed for such items and a full credit will be issued once we receive the original parts back from you.
Returns for exchange or store credit
If you are otherwise unsatisfied with your frameset or bike purchase, you can return it within 15 days of the original shipping date for an exchange or a store credit. The bike or frameset must be in new condition and must not have been ridden outside. You will be responsible for a restocking fee of 10% of the retail price of the bike or frameset, which covers the administration, labor, and depreciation costs associated with a returned bike or frameset. You will also be responsible for all shipping costs and proper insurance.
Returns for refund
If you choose to return non-defective merchandise to us within this 30-day window for a refund, you will be responsible for a restocking fee of 20% of your purchase price. The bike or frameset must be in new condition and must not have been ridden outside. You will also be responsible for all shipping costs and proper insurance. The steer tubes on forks must not be cut. Cut forks will be charged full replacement cost. Stock seat posts may be cut for fit purposes. After market seat posts that are cut or scratched beyond a reasonable degree will be charged full replacement cost. Special order bikes and framesets are final. triathlonlab.com considers a special order to be a bike custom ordered from a manufacturer for you. This includes, but is not limited to, bikes or frames ordered with custom sized tubing and/or custom paint. If a customer wishes to cancel a special order bike before it has shipped from the manufacturer, there will be a $200 cancellation fee (typically to cover fees charged by the manufacturers). A Return Authorization (RA) number is required for all frameset and bike returns/exchanges and can be obtained by calling: 1.310.374.9100. triathlonlab.com will only accept returns or exchanges with valid RA numbers clearly marked on the outside of packages. Items not returned with valid numbers on the packaging or not within the 30 day return period will not be accepted by triathlonlab.com and will be shipped back to you AT YOUR EXPENSE.
Purchasing a triathlon wetsuit can be difficult. At triathlonlab.com we want to be sure you receive the correct size. If you are unsure about your correct size or have any questions or concerns about proper sizing or fit, please contact us so that our experts can help you make the appropriate decision before you place your order.
triathlonlab.com accepts returns on wetsuits within 15 days of the original shipping date per our FIT Gaurantee policy under the following conditions:
If you are unsure of the fit of your wetsuit, do not wear the wetsuit in the water. Please call us so we can assist you with fit questions. Wetsuits must be returned in unworn, new condition with all tags and original packaging for a full refund. Wetsuits that have been worn in the water will only be accepted per our fit gaurantee policy by triathlonlab.com and will be shipped back to you at your expense. If the wetsuit is defective, you can return it for warranty (at the discretion of the wetsuit manufacturer) or store credit within 30 days of the original purchase date. Note: All wetsuits are inspected for damage by triathlonlab.com prior to shipping to ensure a quality product. Please use caution when trying on a wetsuit. A tear or splitting at a seam is considered a manufacturing defect, but nail digs or cuts in the center of a panel are not defects and will not be accepted by triathlonlab.com and will be shipped back to you at your expense.
If you determine that you chose the incorrect size wetsuit, you can return it for a proper-sized replacement within 15 days of the original shipping date. The wetsuit must be in new condition and must not have been worn in the water. You will be responsible for return shipping costs. A Return Authorization (RA) number is required for all wetsuit returns/exchanges and can be obtained by calling Triathlon LAB at: 1-310-374-9100. triathlonlab.com will only accept returns or exchanges with valid RA numbers clearly marked on the outside of packages. Items not returned with valid numbers on the packaging or not within the 30 day return period will not be accepted by triathlonlab.com and will be shipped back to you at your expense.
Returns With an Original Sales Receipt:
Unused, or defective items returned within 30 days after the invoice date which meet the requirements listed above will receive a refund based on the original form of payment. A mail check will be issued for items paid for by check. A return/exchange, even exchange, or gift receipt does not serve as an original receipt.
Returns with a return/exchange, even exchange, or gift receipt:
Unused, or defective items may be returned within 30 days after the invoice date for a merchandise exchange or a store credit for the purchase price. Applicable restocking fees for bikes, framesets, and wheels will be deducted from the store credit, or charged for exchanges. A merchandise exchange only or online store credit may be issued for any returned merchandise in the event it does not meet our refund criteria. A gift receipt serves as proof of purchase only.
Note: The lowest online sale, clearance or blowout purchase prices may be applicable, these prices are subject to frequent change without notice.
triathlonlab.com offers a one-time price adjustment when an original sales receipt is presented within 14 days of your purchase. Please fax us a copy of your original invoice and call our customer service number (310) 374-9100if you have any questions or to obtain an adjustment. Or you can also mail your original offline invoice with a note indicating the item and its new price to:
Triathlon LAB, Inc.
1512 Aviation Blvd.
Redondo Beach, CA. 90278
Attn: Price Adjustments
Note: The envelope must be postmarked within 14 days of the invoice date noted at the top of the invoice. We credit the credit card used for the original purchase. We cannot issue refund checks for price adjustments.
Returning or Exchanging Items by Mail Policy
Follow these instructions to return any Triathlonlab.com Online purchase by mail.
1.Make a photo copy of your original invoice for your records. Send us the original only!
2.Circle the item(s) that you are returning or exchanging on the bottom portion of the invoice and note the specific reason why.
3.Indicate if you want us to credit the card used to place the order or if you'd like an exchange, let us know what you want by noting on the reverse side of the invoice. We won't charge for shipping an exchanged only order, standard U.S. Mail.
4.Pack and seal your return or return's securely, in the original packaging if possible, and include the original invoice. Packages must be returned prepaid -- we do not accept C.O.D. deliveries.
5.Important...We recommend you Insure your return for the proper merchandise dollar amount, this covers you in the event the package is lost or damaged by the post office.
Send returns to:
1512 Aviation Blvd
Redondo Beach, CA. 90278
Note: We reserve the right to refuse a refund in full on any damaged returned merchandise on behalf of the post office or shipping company for uninsured returns. Triathlon LAB will only refund shipping charges if we've sent the wrong item or if the item sent is defective. (All Special orders and closeout specials are non-refundable.)
Credit Card Refunds
On returns, we can only credit the credit card used for the original purchase. Please allow 1-2 billing cycles for the refund credit to appear on your statement.